Monday, November 10, 2008

Monday- PEACE

Are you ready for the rest? Hmm, perhaps before I start part two I best explain the prologue before part one.

My husband and I have been trying to get this life changing surgery for me for at least 6 years now. We have both been on board with this and hoping for everything to work out. Year after year the insurance companies have denied us. It was heartbreaking. Now we didn't want this so I could be a fashion model or anything, we needed this for quality of life. I am not talking about a hundred pounds, I had triple almost quadruple that amount to lose. But I have a good husband. He stuck by me even when simple housewife duties were no longer able to be performed by me. But it was depressing to be denied every time, so this year when I qualified for Medicare and decided to try again, I wanted to wait until I knew it was really going to happen before I told him. To spare him the let down yet again.

So the day after Fathers Day I saw the surgeon. I started the six month long process. I met with every DR imaginable. Cardiologist, Pulmonary Dr's, Psychiatrist, was tested and declared cancer free. I found a physical therapist to help me find safe ways to exercise. I went to a 6 hour long educational course, attended many support groups and worked really hard to lose the 10% of my body weight. All through this I left many hints around but nothing particular. I was sure he would figure it out quickly. But as the months passed by he was just proud of all the progress I was making.

Even going into the hospital on the surgery day I was still waiting for the shoe to drop and say sorry AK but we made a mistake, you have no coverage for this procedure. Some of you (Shelly, Ruth) know how much I cried and worried and prayed about this. I still don't know which insurance paid for it, but I know it's done so it doesn't matter.

I knew I'd have to tell him before surgery and planned on it, and then the gallbladder went bad and had to come out. It's basically the same surgery, incisions and time frame, so I thought I'd wait and surprise him and tell him after it was all said and done. I was so looking forward to melting away before his eyes. I can lose 80% of my excess body weight in the first year. That's so exciting and he would have his wife back.

I never hid it from the blog, and he knows about the blog but just never came by. At first I was sad that he didn't figure it out and then it became almost funny that he didn't. We have that kind of relationship though. Married 28 years, and now a lifetime to go, for both of us. Who could ask for a better gift? I couldn't.

So now the surgery is over and I am coming home, should I tell him now? Later? After I lose 20 pounds, 50 pounds, 100 pounds? I just don't know. I prayed and asked God to show me when, and I knew He would.

So did I tell him? Well this is so long maybe I'll save part two for tomorrow.
I just wanted you all to know that the secret was not to be mean or inconsiderate. It was out of compassion and love and honor and I have no regrets about that. In fact I have PEACE about it.

So with that I'll leave you with my newest dishcloth design. Fresh off the scanner today (my son can't find the camera)


Love AK


Wendy said... are going to make me wait.....that is so not fun...I was wondering why but said nothing, because it was none of my business...BUT I knew you had a good reason for not telling....thank you for telling us why....
I can't wait to see progress pictures and notes...
Big HUgs

SimplyMe said...

That scanned out well.

Here's to a step less of pain tomorrow.

You rock it woman!!!


SimplyMe said...

OMG - do you realize that you used the same cliff hanger yesterday?!?!? You crack me up!

Sweet dreams, LONG night's sleep!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh.... I have been checking this blog all day and you STILL aren't gonna tell!?!? ROFLOL! Mean, I tell ya... mean. *wink*

Wow, okay, that makes much more sense. How funny he never caught on! And gosh... I wanna lose 80% of my weight in a year! Somehow I just can't seem to finally lose it all--much less keep it off. Can't wait to hear about your progress!

Bubblesknits said...

I need *you* around to help me keep Christmas secrets! LOL You're good!

Unknown said...

We all know you don't have a mean bone in your body hon. We know it comes from love in your heart so when you tell him doesn't matter to us.!! It only matters to both of you and when you tell him he will be so excited that you have been blessed with the surgery.
NOw get some rest and tell us tomorrow the rest of the story!!!
Love ya Patt

leah said...

Thanks for the back story, but seriously I have to wait another day!!!! Glad all is going well and that God has answered so many of our prayers!

Claudia said...

God opened doors for you when it was the right time for you. And you can do the same for Uncle Kathy, if he doesn't know already. Surprises like that are good. If he's anything like my husband, all he wants is his wife by his side. I learned that much this year.

teabird said...

I think it's wonderful that you found the right time and place to have the surgery - even if it meant having other surgery to "cover" it. I've known people who have had it, and their lives have changed!

Rest, heal, and rest some more!

Jane said...

Thank you for sharing your story - it is so inspiring! But of course you left us with another cliff hanger! Maybe you will make this into a contest - you know, we can give you ideas about the best way to tell him. Just kidding of course, but I do know you love contests!
Hope you are resting and healing and knitting of course. Love the new peace design - perfect for Veteran's Day.

Unknown said...


I was very concerned that he would be upset because you hadn't told him and was just "surprising" him with the surgery. It is kind of fun that he hasn't caught on. On the other hand, I probably could tell my husband and then the day before remind him and he would say "you never told me that" and we have been married 28 years too!

I hope you are feeling wonderfully better.

Katie O said...

boo!!! I've been looking forward to finding out all day... and now I gotta wait again!! oh boo!!! But I can't wait to here the rest!

sailorcross said...

First, I want to tell you that I love the dishcloth!! Great job on this!!

And, then I want to say how hard it must have been to keep this a secret. But, I understand that you did this out of love--so an not to increase the emotional roller coaster!! I can't wait to hear the rest of the story!!

Love you so much,


Kenyetta said...

Welcome Back!
I love the cloth!

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