Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tuesday- Ok Where Am I Going Again?

Uncharted territory, yeah I am treading in those waters. I am struggling today wrapping my brain around reality. It suddenly occured to me how many things have changed in less than a year. How does one deal with that? Well in my case you wake up on Tuesday and insist it's Saturday. LOL
This is the cover to the journal Shelly sent me, and the first picture is her note to me inside. She sent a couple other things too but that I will save for another blog in the near future. Do you judge a book by it's cover? I try never to do that because I have always been misunderstood, because of my size. Yet it's so easy to do that. Then there is the feeling of guilt even when you have done NOTHING wrong.
You know the feeling you get when you are driving down the road in your car, minding your own business, reading license plates (come on you do that too right? I am not the only one) watching scenery and then you see it. The police car parked up ahead. You glance at the spedometer, and as you do you take your eyes off the road and the car swerves to the left you catch yourself and swerve to the right to straighten out, then you realise while doing this your lead foot has been on the gas. You pass the officer, and you see him start to move. Oh no he must think I've been drinking? Have I? Of course not I don't drink. Why worry about that. Well everyone probably says they don't drink. Have you seen that commercial where they ask the driver have you been drinking and open the car door and out floods beer to the road? Hmm where am I going with this? NO CLUE, remembeer I am in uncharted territory. I am just full of random thoughts and feelings and I do not know what to do with them, but I fear I must release them or get arrested, lol.
Yes the police are on my mind today too. This afternoon a police car pulled up across the street from my house and stopped. The officer got out of the car and put on his bullet proof vest thing. Then sat back in the car. I waited, with held breath. He must be coming here, I mean he is right across the road from my house just sitting there. Maybe he is waiting for backup. What could I have done? Well he sat there for 30 minutes and then just drove off, I finally breathed. I think I have an oxygen problem, proably killed a few brain cells this time. And believe me I don't have any to spare anymore.
Maybe I'll show you the get well cards I received from my surgery. Always good to change the subject right?
So to try to calm myself down after a stressful day and I barely told you anything about it at all.. I decided to work on a project. I'm not gonna tell you what it is yet... I'd like to see who guesses correctly first.
There will be six pieces when it's done
Ok I am tired, and wired, but more tired. Hmm what kind of tired am I? Godstone, Firestone, Michilin? Obviously just plain tired, go to bed NOW tired.
Sweet dreams everyone, see you tomorrow.


Unknown said...

I am glad you are feeling better and it must be weird to catch sight of yourself . . . how special.

I do that all the time when I see a policeman. I think it is just instinctive. Our former neighbors had a break-in and when the cops talked to us, I felt guilty and like I should confess. How weird is that!

Unknown said...

Wow, you have lots of stuff going on there. Like, mentally. You do realize you have shed your skin like a snake (literally!) That does mean a few adjustments.

that police thing is weird. too bad you don't have a scanner. If it was me and he didn't come to my door, I would be worried about a criminal on the loose or something and go about locking all my doors. Cops should not be allowed to do that!

Have a great day

Denise and Tim Higgins said...

I completely feel you on the officer thing. I mean, I always end up swerving some just because they make me nervous. I have no idea why. lol
You are completely right about judging a book by it's cover. It's not something anyone should do but especially with the media the way it is now, it's becoming something that's hard to fight. Stinkin people. I feel guilty for even thinking about doing it sometimes, lol. I hope you have a better day. I love your notebook!

Claudia said...

In my neighborhood, seeing a police car is always a good thing. You see, we live close to a prison, and my home is always locked and the alarm system is almost always on as well. When I sit in the sun room, I can see all around us (I live on a corner, so I can see down both streets). When I see the police patroling the area, I breathe much better, knowing that they're there to keep me safe.

Your road has been such a good one. You're doing so well. I'm trying to follow in your footsteps, but I'm doing it without the surgery. And it's so hard. I'm on my bike daily, pushing and pushing myself to do more. I'm eating better as my energy levels are slowly coming up. I watch your progress and know that it will take me about 3 years or so to do what it's only taken you months to do. But it would be better to take the weight off and get healthier than to keep getting larger. That's become my philosophy.

Robynn's Ravings said...

We just drove to the coast over the weekend and experienced the very same police phenomenon you described perfectly! What's up with that? He followed us for ten miles. I just knew we weren't gonna be able to prove we were U.S. Citizens, not escaped from a mental institution, or that we hadn't been on a ten day bender.

Hope you're recovering well and I can't WAIT to see photos of the new you!!!!

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