Thursday- Reflect day- You've come a long way Baby

Today is a Reflection Day.
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It started out with my weigh in this morning. I at my highest KNOWN weight was 393 pounds overweight. I know, shocking, sickening, stupid. I am embarassed to even admit this in public, but it is what it was. And if I can in anyway help someone else from ending up where I was then I will gladly shout it from mountain tops (mountain tops I can now climb) and offer support whenever I can.
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Anyway I digress a little, as of my weigh in this morning I have lost 251 pounds and I only have 142 left to get to my ideal goal weight. Since the surgery in November I have lost 94 pounds. I think that works out to be about 5 pounds a week on average. I can not believe it sometimes. I have a whole different life now.
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Then I happened to find myself watching Oprah, I usually don't watch her, she is not my favorite person, I might be in the minority there but... today she had on Obese people. And my heart was breaking. I know where they are/were and how they felt. I know what it's like not to be able to do normal everyday things and to have the world look down on you and discriminate you. For some reason this show today angered me. Not towards the people who were suffering but towards those who helped them get to where they were. I have no one to blame for my weight except myself. I was OBESE but I was still for the most part mobile and I cooked my own meals. These people were bed ridden and others fed them and cared for them. How could they continue to feed them so much? One woman went from 500 pounds to 900 pounds in 4 years, while confined to bed the whole time. I know people are responsible for their own actions, but come on when you are confined to bed and others are bringing your food, there could have been some control there, right? GRRRRR
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Then I went to support group tonight. I love support group. I love hearing and sharing and learning and I won't miss them unless absolutely necessary. My sister had found a picture of me from about 5 years ago when I was almost at my highest weight, it's hard to look at that picture. it's hard to believe I was so out of control. And I thank God every day, every minute, for sustaining me and making it possible for me to get this surgery and my life back.
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This is a picture of me taken today just before support group.
And this is a moasic of some before photos and one from Feburary this year and Today. For some reason it keeps cutting off my head... what's up with that. Maybe I should show them individually, but I think this is OK for now.
I know this is a knitting mostly blog and today's post was NOT about knitting, except that one picture of me on my bed I am knitting there, LOL, does that count?
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Actually I haven't knitted anything today but I will remedy that tomorrow.
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Oh and I almost forgot part of my You've come a long way baby moment... Last night when I got home from church I pulled my car into the garage but there was no room to open the drivers side door more then 10" so I was trapped in the car. I was afraid to back it out and hit the other car or motorcycle so I had no clue what I was gonna do... WELL I climbed across the front seat into the passenger side, I lifted my legs in the air, I was like a pretzel, I wiggled and scooted over the gear shift and everything but I got to the other side and got out. I was so excited I crawled across the inside of the car, of course when I walked in the house I yelled at Gary for making me park in the garage but really inside I was so excited about this HUGE victory.
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So in reflection, it's been a long journey, and a slow journey some times too. But I can and will continue on this road to health and in doing so I pray God will use me to encourage others and help them be victorious and succeed and find health and happiness too.
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I hope you all have a great night, sweet dreams and all that good stuff.
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I'll continue the regular knitting blog posts tomorrow, thanks for listening to me reflect.
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Goodnight, AK