Thursday, March 26, 2009

Thursday- Reflect day- You've come a long way Baby

Today is a Reflection Day.
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It started out with my weigh in this morning. I at my highest KNOWN weight was 393 pounds overweight. I know, shocking, sickening, stupid. I am embarassed to even admit this in public, but it is what it was. And if I can in anyway help someone else from ending up where I was then I will gladly shout it from mountain tops (mountain tops I can now climb) and offer support whenever I can.
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Anyway I digress a little, as of my weigh in this morning I have lost 251 pounds and I only have 142 left to get to my ideal goal weight. Since the surgery in November I have lost 94 pounds. I think that works out to be about 5 pounds a week on average. I can not believe it sometimes. I have a whole different life now.
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Then I happened to find myself watching Oprah, I usually don't watch her, she is not my favorite person, I might be in the minority there but... today she had on Obese people. And my heart was breaking. I know where they are/were and how they felt. I know what it's like not to be able to do normal everyday things and to have the world look down on you and discriminate you. For some reason this show today angered me. Not towards the people who were suffering but towards those who helped them get to where they were. I have no one to blame for my weight except myself. I was OBESE but I was still for the most part mobile and I cooked my own meals. These people were bed ridden and others fed them and cared for them. How could they continue to feed them so much? One woman went from 500 pounds to 900 pounds in 4 years, while confined to bed the whole time. I know people are responsible for their own actions, but come on when you are confined to bed and others are bringing your food, there could have been some control there, right? GRRRRR
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Then I went to support group tonight. I love support group. I love hearing and sharing and learning and I won't miss them unless absolutely necessary. My sister had found a picture of me from about 5 years ago when I was almost at my highest weight, it's hard to look at that picture. it's hard to believe I was so out of control. And I thank God every day, every minute, for sustaining me and making it possible for me to get this surgery and my life back.
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This is a picture of me taken today just before support group.
And this is a moasic of some before photos and one from Feburary this year and Today. For some reason it keeps cutting off my head... what's up with that. Maybe I should show them individually, but I think this is OK for now.
I know this is a knitting mostly blog and today's post was NOT about knitting, except that one picture of me on my bed I am knitting there, LOL, does that count?
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Actually I haven't knitted anything today but I will remedy that tomorrow.
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Oh and I almost forgot part of my You've come a long way baby moment... Last night when I got home from church I pulled my car into the garage but there was no room to open the drivers side door more then 10" so I was trapped in the car. I was afraid to back it out and hit the other car or motorcycle so I had no clue what I was gonna do... WELL I climbed across the front seat into the passenger side, I lifted my legs in the air, I was like a pretzel, I wiggled and scooted over the gear shift and everything but I got to the other side and got out. I was so excited I crawled across the inside of the car, of course when I walked in the house I yelled at Gary for making me park in the garage but really inside I was so excited about this HUGE victory.
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So in reflection, it's been a long journey, and a slow journey some times too. But I can and will continue on this road to health and in doing so I pray God will use me to encourage others and help them be victorious and succeed and find health and happiness too.
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I hope you all have a great night, sweet dreams and all that good stuff.
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I'll continue the regular knitting blog posts tomorrow, thanks for listening to me reflect.
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Goodnight, AK

15 comments:

kadezmom said...

I'm speechless regarding the changes you've made. You're that butterfly coming out of the cocoon and I'm privledged that you're letting me be a part of it.

Enough sap!!!!!


Boob.

superwoman_4002 said...

Oh my goodness Kathy!!! You look so good!! :D BEAUTIFUL i must say!! :D woohoo for the "you've come a long way baby moment"!! :D yay!! You've made so much progress!! You are amazing!!! :D Just remember that sometimes the slow journeys are the best, well-worth it journies!!
*Excited hug!!*
Zaneta

By the way... for some reason i always click on the stuff on the sides of your blog and end up signing up for stuff lol... this time you got me with plurk! ;)

Darcys Knotty Knitter said...

Hey girl your awesome and beautiful:)((((Hugs)))) Darcy
write me at darcysknottyknitter@gmail.com I have a q/a for you.

sailorcross said...

Kathy,

I am so astonished at this post!! Yes, I know where you were and where you are know--but the changes that this has made in your ENTIRE life--that is what is amazing me!!

I want to thank you for sharing openly and honestly. This in itself will help others.

You look great, have a new outlook on life, and now have a chance for a longer life due to better health!!

You go girl!! BRING IT ON!!

Beth

amanda said...

You look soooo happy there! This is such a positive post - well done you! :D

Grace said...

Go You!!!

Neas Nuttiness said...

The smile on your face warms my heart. I pray that your continued Journey, will be filled with these kinds of "moments". You give me hope Kathy...thank you!

teabird said...

You look great, you're strong, and I'm so happy for you!

Cat said...

Honey I am so glad you are posting and sharing this major time in your life. You are an inspiration to me and keep me going in trying to lose weight. LOL even though I know cinnamon rolls and vanilla pudding aren't a good thing but I eat them in moderation.
Please do not be embarrassed as you are working so hard and you so deserve to be recognized.

Hugs!!!

MLJ1954 said...

Kathy,

Thank you so much for sharing this journey with all of us. You have come a long way.

I agree with you on the Oprah show. I have thought this before when there would be stories on the news about this person or that who have not been out of bed for years because they are so fat. Like you, I keep thinking, well what dumb-bunny keeps bringing them all that food! It does make me angry.

Take care of yourself.

Robynn's Ravings said...

You look so PRETTY in that photo, and happy. I'm so glad you are beginning to enjoy your body and be at peace with it. :)

Jane said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again - you are beautiful!

Turtle said...

laughing at the mental image of pretzel moves out the car...but smiling! You have come a long way baby! Huge congrats Kat!!

Anita O said...

Oh wow, I think YOU should be on Oprah! (I'm not a fan either). How awesome and encouraging. You've come a long way and it's nice to see the progress. Way to go on your small accomplishments!
And I agree with your on bedridden people getting larger and larger. When they eat 2 dozen eggs, a whole ham, 2 pounds of bacon and 2 loaves of bread: for breakfast!! Come on now, that's a little irresponsible. Might as well be digging the grave.

Anyway, I'm proud of you!

twocans1 said...

You're looking great!!!

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